Adoption FAQs

1. What kinds of adoption are available?
2. What kinds of domestic infant adoption are available?
3. What is most misunderstood about adoption?
4. How much does it cost to adopt?
5. What exactly does relinquishment mean?
6. Do birth fathers have any say in adoption?
7. What advice would you give an adopted person who wants to conduct a search for a birth parent?
8. What other adoption information resources are available?

What kinds of adoption are available?

Many kinds of adoption are available to you as prospective parents. You can consider a domestic infant, a waiting child in foster care, or a child abroad.

What kinds of domestic infant adoption are available?

Confidential (Closed)

Describes an adoption where only non-identifying social and medical information is exchanged between parties to an adoption through the agency or intermediary. There is no direct, ongoing relationship between the birthparents and adoptive parents.

Semi-Open

Describes a range of practices that involve the exchange of information and contact between adoptive parents and biological parents. It usually includes all relationships shy of full disclosure of identifying information (full names and addresses) and direct continuing contact between the parties after the adoption.

Open Adoption

Describes an adoption where identifying information has been exchanged between the birthparents and the adoptive parents and they have established a direct, ongoing relationship.

What is most misunderstood about adoption?

The most misunderstood component of adoption is the notion that birth parents are abandoning their baby. This problem is further complicated by inappropriate language used when speaking about adoption. Phrases like "giving up" or "giving away" a baby are commonly used. Birth parents that choose to provide parents for a child through adoption are in no way "giving up or giving away" their child. In fact, they are giving something to their child. Adoption gives a child a home, two parents, a future, and the opportunity to pursue all that God intended him/her to be.

In the past, our society has made birth parents (particularly birth mothers) feel regret and shame for their choices. Our culture has made these heroic women feel like they have abandoned their babies and been irresponsible for getting out of their duty as parents. Instead of being irresponsible, these women and men have chosen to face their circumstances realistically. Birth parents are heroines for their children. They love their babies so much that they make the parenting choice to put the baby's needs first. They recognize their own limitations and rather than focusing on their personal desires, they focus on what is best for their babies. All people in the adoption triangle benefit from the choice. The baby gets a loving, stable, two-parent home. The parents receive the privilege of rearing a long-awaited child. The birth parents have their lives redeemed until a future time when they are able to provide the necessities for a baby. Adoption is a sacrificial, loving, and thoughtful parenting choice.

How much does it cost to adopt?

Birth parents that choose to work with licensed adoption professionals will not be financially charged to place a child for adoption. Birthparents will not receive any money for placing their child for adoption either.

Prospective adoptive parents need to understand that adoption costs vary greatly and depend on what type of adoption you choose to pursue (domestic infant, foster care, international). Adoption can cost $15,000 to $30,000 or more (depending on the agency and circumstances), but credits, reimbursements, and other benefits can make your adoption affordable.

For more information on costs and how to finance an adoption please visit the following sites:

What Adoption Really Costs
The results of Adoptive Families' 2005 cost survey.

Federal Adoption Expense Tax Credit

Resources from AdoptiveFamilies.com

State Tax Credits
Several states have tax credits for adoptive families, sometimes restricted to those adopting from that state's public child welfare system. Contact your state adoption unit for more information.

Special Needs Adoption
Children with special needs may qualify for a subsidy to help parents pay for ongoing needs.
Subsidy information from the North American Council on Adoptable Children

Nonrecurring Adoption Expense Reimbursement
Families who adopt from the public system may be eligible for reimbursement of adoption-related expenses, such as home study, travel, and attorney costs.
State adoption subsidy profiles.

Military Subsidies
Active-duty personnel are reimbursed for one-time adoption costs, whether adopting an infant, a waiting child, or an International child.

Fact sheet on the DoD Adoption Reimbursement Program,
from the National Military Family Association (NMFA).

Employee Benefits

More employers are offering adoption benefits for employees. Check with your employer to see what is available to you and visit the following sites to learn more about lobbying for these benefits:
AdoptionFriendlyWorkplace.org and BenefitsGuides.com.

Grants and Loans
The Gift of Adoption Fund, and A Child Waits, offers grants and loans for families adopting internationally.

Other Resources
• "How to Make Adoption an Affordable Option"
  from the National Endowment for Financial Education. Or call 888-878-3256 and ask for item #508-F.
• Burke Family's list of adoption funding sources.
• Order You Can Afford Adoption by Heaton and Hunt from MothersCharm.org.

What exactly does relinquishment mean?

Signing relinquishment papers releases all rights and responsibilities of the birth parents. Once signed, the documents are binding. Relinquishment is permanent.

Do birth fathers have any say in adoption?

Check with your state to determine what legal rights you have as a birth father. Most states require that the birth father be given the opportunity to express his desire to parent or to relinquish. If an adoption plan is created, he is able to sign his relinquishment paper prior to the baby's birth.

What advice would you give an adopted person who wants to conduct a search for a birth parent?

First, have patience and proceed with realistic expectations. Searching for a birth parent is not something to be done on a whim. It is something to be done after much prayer, thought, consideration have taken place. One must consider the many lives that will be affected by this search.

Second, read several resources on adoption and searching for birth parents. It is always good to learn from other people's experiences. It is crucial that you realize you must be ready to accept whatever it is you find before commencing with a search. You must be ready to find your finest fantasy, your worst nightmare, and all that lies between.

Helpful Adoption Resources

Affirming the Birth Mother's Journey, Wendy Lowe & Jutta Wittmeier

The Gift of Sam, Michelle Thooft

I'm Pregnant...Now What? Sara Dormon & Ruth Graham

20 Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Parents Knew, Sherrie Eldridge

20 Life Transforming Choices Adoptees Need to Make, Sherrie Eldridge

Dear Birthmother, Kathleen Silber & Phylis Speedlin

Adoption Nation, Adam Pertman

The Adoption Network, Laura Christianson

Exploring the Spirit of Adoption, Dennis Nice

Pertinent Research Studies

The Missing Piece Curt Young

Good Mother Birth Mother by Charles T. Kenny, Ph.D.